The truth is we often living in a mess situation. Trying to hold on to something but not really aware of the caused.
We act like everything is fine. But deep in our consciousness, we are thinking of how to solve all the problems. As a Christians, we are taught to not worry because bible says so in 365 times to not be afraid of anything but in everything give thanks to the Lord (Philippians 4:6). Another bible verse tells us to not be afraid is in Book of Joshua 1:9
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
But still I fail because I am weak. I had a restlessness 2 days in a row for not knowing what to do and how to do it for my daily tasks. Its strange because the day before, I was very happy and content to go through the day. I remembered on that night I prayed to God to give me grace to understand His mystery of the Cross. But I was wrong to assume that God is working on it. In short, It was just too heavy for me to carry the days.
In the end, I went to my church friend seeking for advices and he only told me to pray for wisdom. So, I prayed silently for wisdom to understand what was happening to me. I was hopeless because I’ve been praying rosary constantly, Jesus prayer throughout the day, Jubilee of Mercy prayer and using bible verse to comfort my self. But, none of them succeed to bring peace to my soul. Truthfully saying, it was the most annoying days on that weeks. hehehe 🙂
Finally, I stopped trying and let it be. It was during lunch time, I received God’s grace through talks of faith in youtube. I am not sure what she was talking about but, I am sure she was touching about insecurity. At that moment, I realized that I have been thinking bad on myself. I was afraid that I might not be able to be the best for my dear one, my family, my job and my community. I was overwhelmed but God take it all and suddenly, I feel happy and light.
It was touching yet joyful moment when I realized the root of those heavy battle with myself. I give thanks to the Lord immediately, rejoice and pray for Him to take care of me. Like a magic works, peace comes right away and ta-da big smile for the rest of the days. It comes with bonus of having right attitude to work, to love my dear one and to communicate efficiently with my community members.
As simple as knowing what the root of all mess in our life, it will lead us into revelation which give us a meaningful life.