Down on My Knees

I didn’t realized that I am a changed man afterwards.
The change that even I did not think will make an impact.
The right decision but the wrong motives.
I did not prepare for this and I didn’t see it coming.
I thought I will be strong enough to handle but now I know I’m too proud of my self
till I’m lost in my own thoughts. 
Pride and ignorance have hurt my self and the people surround me.
I need to find my way back.
I can’t keep pretending like I am oke while I need help. 
In the dessert of my own desire, He-yet never give up on Me.
His loves fill me.
He called me but I don’t listen.
He talked to me but all I did was focusing on my own thoughts.
He taught me but I ignore.
What am I actually doing ?
I can’t even answer my own question.
Then, I finally found my self down on my knees in front of the cross, crying over my faults, confessing my sins. 
Resting and surrendering all in the arm of my own Saviour
Jesus Christ
I keep asking myself, what have I done to myself?
What have I done to this sweet relationship?
I unintentionally burn the bridge between me and Him.
I have lost for whatever I gained

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